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Small Talk Makes A Big DifferenceWe’ve all been in those situations at programs, conferences or social gatherings when we have to make small talk, but despite the fact that we talk every day the art of small talk is lost on some. The act of truly being engaged with someone and knowing how to make small talk is the key to networking and development of great relationships, but why is it so difficult? The worst time to think of something to talk about is when there is nothing to talk about so I offer you some quick tips for making the most of those small talk situations:
Do Your Homework: If you know the type of gathering you are going to or you know the people who will be there do a little homework to make sure you have some talking points. The weather is fine to start the conversation, but don’t spend more than a minute talking about the low pressure system coming in this week. Get to know a person’s hobbies, interests and passions and utilize those in your conversation. Stay connected with current events and trends in the field to break the ice.
Be The First To Greet: Offering a handshake and your name first takes the pressure off the other person and allows them to feel more comfortable in the conversation. A person’s natural inclination will be to offer their name when you introduce yourself first, so make it easy for both of you.
Remember The Name: Often times meeting people consists of a whirlwind of names. Take a moment to learn the person’s name and repeat it back to them. Don’t skip over unique names and hope you won’t have to use them. “Can you kindly repeat your name for me” will go a long way in a conversation and shows the person you care about them. Be sure to use their name when leaving the conversation as well.
Handshake Etiquette: We practice our presentations in front of the mirror all the time, so we should be doing the same with our handshakes. Take every chance you get to shake someone’s hand, but remember: - Web to web: Don’t grab their fingers or wrist. Get in there for a good shake. - 3 Second Rule: If your handshakes last more than 3 seconds you are a creeper. Get in and get out. - Firm Grips Only: This is your one shot to show your confidence to someone so don’t be bashful about the firmness of your grip.
Accepting Business Cards: If you don’t have a business card on you at all times, you should start carrying a couple. You never know when someone will want your information. When accepting a business card keep the following in mind: - Accept the card with both hands and read ALL the information on the card in front of the person - Always put the card in the front pocket of your pants (if you are not wearing pants with a pocket then you need to hold onto the card until the person is gone). We all empty our pockets at the end of the day so you are showing that person that they are important enough to be remembered, as opposed to being placed with the many objects and papers in our wallets/purses or pad folios. - Follow up and write down the context of your meeting with the person on the back of their card. If you are accepting lots of cards you will want to remember the conversation or why that person is important. Use “I Need” Statements: When the conversation is wrapping up or you are looking to leave the conversation, use the phrase “I need” to make a clean getaway. We all know what it’s like to NEED to use the bathroom, freshen a drink or say hi to someone else in the room. Using “I need” shows urgency to the person and not that you are simply trying to get away. When you leave the conversation be sure to say their name and offer something of interest from the conversation. “Bob, it has been a pleasure chatting with you about living learning communities, but I need to use the restroom so I will connect with you later.”
People are interesting so just relax and following these simple steps to improve your small talk and create intentional relationships in social gatherings. Practice makes perfect so place yourself in situations where you can use these tips. Combine them with a genuine intention to get to know the person and you will make the most of your conversation and see that small talk does make a big difference.
Prepare by Jeff Rosenberry, Montana State University Billings AIMHO President Elect |